Opening The Creative In Me

My need for structure, exactness and practical thinking can close the door on my creativity. The fear of being "incorrect" in a subjective world can hinder my artistic nature.

As a child of a logical minded Electro Optics Engineer, my early developmental years were a world where exactness in thinking did not include a creative, artistic, open learning environment. "Think logically", was a common phrase used whenever there was a problem solving issue waiting for an answer. Yes, the arts were a part of our family life as long as they followed existing protocols. Music was performed exactly as it was written, pictures were drawn with exact perspective and recipes were followed without changes. No "coloring outside the lines".

As an adult, my creative self was screaming to come out into the open. Every step has been painfully difficult in letting myself create without being hindered by my logic. Without realizing it, I began small by creatively changing family recipes to add flavors and textures that I loved. It felt almost sacrilegious at first, as if I was trampling on sacred ground.

Slowly, I was able to take baby steps in thinking outside the box, although keeping one foot on the line just to be safe. For example, I can doodle as long as the doodle is balanced with all the circles complete and the geometric shapes even. Once while doodling, my husband asked me to leave a circle incomplete and it was painfully difficult to do. That realization prompted this introspection of my creativity.

In contemplating my 10 year career in marketing, I realized that this logical, exact thinking when mixed with my creative talent is the perfect combination. Both are required in developing, designing and implementing a marketing plan, as well as leading a creative team to success in this highly competitive industry.

There are still times when I desire a complete openness to my creativity. Moving forward, I accept the challenge to give an unencumbered voice to my creativity, to break down the rigid walls of predetermined parameters that don't allow my complete self to be expressed, to stop the fear of others' judgment and to feel the air of complete creative freedom. But, keeping my analytical thinking is also an asset to which I have learned is just as important in completing the circle of my whole self.